He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

So Dylan and I have been dating for just a little less then a month but the feelings we have for each other are noticeably stronger then any other relationship I have been in before. I wanna say I love you but I'm not 100% that he feels the same way. I know he feels deeply for me but I cant tell if his feelings match mine. Last time I told a guy that I loved him the relationship blew up like a nuclear bomb. Plus the guy was obsessed with sex and suffocated me to the point where I had to break both of our hearts and break it off. That was the worst break up of my life, it really tore me up. But Dylan and I have already had sex, we did before we were even dating and for some reason when it happened with him it felt right. No regret, no guilt, no awkwardness. And he did it right. With him it wasn't just having sex it was more like making love, or what I think making should feel like. It was amazing and we are completely comfortable with each other. I know I love him, but does he love me?

I Hate That Man

         Divorce, it sucks. Yep that about sums it up, there is really no other way to explain it. It just sucks. My parents divorce was finally ended after a two year battle for nothing. It was mostly my dad who drug it out that long. He just wouldn't agree on any of the terms and he never did anything productive. He was, and is, an dick who made my mom look like a complete devil woman. He spread lies the she was cheating on him, that she never wanted him to see his children again, that the example she was showing her 16 year old daughter, me, was going to somehow make me prego at my current age. How ridiculous is that, its as if he forgot who I was, I would never do that. The getting pregnant part I mean, the having sex part well that's another story. But if my mom had told the truth about my dad in the first place he would have lost his job and his kids in a flash. If anybody knew he tried to kill himself, if anybody knew he was on more meds then my grandpa, if anybody knew he was abusive, he would be over. My mom protected him even though he was putting her through a shit storm. She never said a word about any of that. It wasn't fare what he did to us, brain washing my little sisters to think that he and mom would get back together, giving them false hope. Turning my brother against my mom making him believe the lies. Abusing me, not physically, but mentally. He told me that he tried to kill himself a few times. Why would you tell your daughter that? Why would you torture her like that? That was his plan to get me closer to him, to get me on his side. He thought that if I saw that he needed real help I would leave moms side and follow him but no, that just drove me farther from him. And now I hate that man. Makes me sad to know that I cant have a real father.